More popping-joint fun than I could handle.

Have any of you, oh faithful readers, tryed to compete in a sport? Well, my friends, if you have not and are intending to, here's one option you can cross off your list. Figure skating was my sport of choice quite the few years back and, believe you me, it was like hell frozen over. Figure skating tells you 'no'. All day long. It mocks you over and over, telling you you're an idiot. That you're crazy. If you like sliding around on an ice-cold-enough-to-burn-your-face-off surface doing next to physically impossible tricks, figure skating's for you. If you like peeling peices of skin the size of fifty cent coins off your feet, breaking in new boots is for you. Because the only thing more fun than bunyons and sore ankles is jupiter sized blisters. It's super sexy. And competitions? I mean, come on! Who doesn't like parading around in an overly sequined dress four sizes too small and getting atomic wedgies only to get your ego completely annihilated by a group of people who couldn't skate half as well as you can if their life depended on it and yet they still continue to think they're better than us. And if you like falling, figure skating is THE sport for you. You get to fall on your face, your ass, your back, your knees AND your pride! Good thing I didn't like falling... I LOVED IT!!!! The only reason we even considered doing these moronically hard tricks is because somebody somewhere said, "I don't care if this is nuts and I don't care if it hurts. I'm doing it." And ever since that day, human kind from all over the world think that its completely normal to be able to jump two metres in the air, spin three times, land it without popping a joint and not be dizzy afterwards. Oh, and if you think normal people are harsh, just you wait until you get into the competitive world. Man, are there any nice figure skaters on this planet or are they all just bitches? The latter, from my experience. What stopped me? No, I didn't realise how MAJORLY deluded all these icenuts were, I had an unfortunate mishap when trying to land one of these crazy tricks and I ended up not popping a joint, but smashing one. I didn't exactly smash my knee, per say, just did someting to it which now renders me unable to run, jump or skip faster or higher than a one-legged, extremely unathletic pirate. It makes me so mad!!! DAMN YOU, YOU CRAZY TWIGS!!! DAMN YOU FOR RUINING MY KNEE!!! WHAT IF I WANTED TO RUN FASTER THAN A PIRATE, HMM?!!! BEING PIRATE-LIKE IS NOT AS FUN AS IT SOUNDS!!!!!

Yours rantily,
Kim.

P.S. Not literally, but: does anyone want to join me in killing my accounting teacher? The massacre of one? Any takers?