Micheal Jackson? I have sunk to a new echelon of lowness.

  HELLO!!

  Guess who's back!!

  Micheal Jackson?!

  No, you primitive screwheads!! It's me!! WITH A VENGENCE!! A DAMN SEXY VENGENCE!!
So what's been shaking my babies? Nothing much? Well, me either. Yes, it's been a year, and still nothing worth writing a post about has surfaced. But maybe there should be some explaining done about the box to the left of where your eyes are currently placed.
   Yes! THE LIST HAS BEEN UPDATED!! To new and improved 2010 standards **suggestive eyebrow raise**

The first three on this said list have already been explained in previous posts. And, indeed the pure, seething hatred I had for these things remains as strong today as it was a year ago. If you are not aware of why this pure, seething hatred is still alive and kicking, go back through my archives. What? What?! YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED?! Don't be lazy, you manical haemorrhoid! GET ON THE BAND WAGON!

  Anywho, to Number 4: People who think they're all that, when in fact they are just weiners.

Well, there's more of these types of people infiltrating my personal space these days. I think it may be an age thing. Once you hit 16, you must make a choice, young grasshopper: Either 1) spend the rest of your days as a completely assoholic bastard, up on your high horse or 2) become part of the wallpaper and hope that maybe one day, in the distant future, your children will be able to live in a world where assoholic bastards do not reign and the goodness of the nice-guy-who-always-finishes-last's heart will PREVAIL!!

  As you can imagine, I picked the latter option.

  Number 5: Try hards.

Oh my, who doesn't love a good try hard?! Well, most people actually. But, if you are in the market for a good try hard by some small chance, the best place to begin looking is a highschool Drama class. Good Lord, the amount of irritation some of those people cause me is almost immeasurable. Almost. It's like someone performing an anal probe on you with a mace. But true to fact, there are try hards residing in all walks of high school life: Chemistry, History, English.... In fact, it's hard to find a place they're not. The infestation CONTINUES!!

 Number 6: 1 to 1 Laptop Support.
All you VHS-igans will know exactly what I'm talking about. The stupid little Year 10's that you have to bring your stupid big, black brick of a laptop to if it has a problem. You present them with something that seems hard to fix and, up on their high horse, they say something like, "Oh, just a megaram bit problem **scoffs**" Seriously, if you're going to be pompous windbag about it, I WILL TAKE MY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE. Do they get a kick out of being mean to people their senior without getting a mouthful from a teacher? THE BLOODY SADISTS!!

Number 7: School Faculty who enjoy acting like Nazi's
Do I even need to explain this one?!!

Number 8: Southern Cross Tattoos
Erk. Having one of those is just like writing "HOON" or "MANWHORE" across your forehead in permanent marker. What's the attraction to getting one of these? Do you think that when you're old and can't remember what to call a pair of shoes, you'll forget what country you're from? Really? Do you think it'll attract the ladies? Well, if you like whores, then sure, it attracts the ladies.

Number 9: Halloween Sluts
Now, don't get me wrong, I love dressing up. And who doesn't like being someone else for a night? Well, in recent times, the true meaning of Halloween has been lost! SLUTS! SLUTS, I SAY! THEY'RE ALL AROUND YOU!! And Halloween has become the newest legit excuse for Gold Coast whorebags to truly embrace their enormous amount of slut.

Speaking of which, this weekend I'm going costume shopping!! Which is very: :D. But I do have to go with my sister. Who intends on dressing like a whore. This makes this event very: :|. What shall I be in the market for though, you ask? Well, I shall be going as either: 1) A horror movie victim or 2) Faith from the video game Mirror's Edge (Yes, I'm a complete loser. Don't act surprised.) Both are rather simple, but rather kick ass!!

Soooooo.......

I better be off!

Haha, that wasn't APRUPT AT ALL!

Adios, lovely readers!
Kim.

Ps. My humble friend Captain Awura-Abena won two tickets to a twenty minute preview to the movie "Tron Legacy" and, in all of her mighty wisdom, has decided to take me with her. So bet on me giving my opinions on that in my next post!

If any of you were wondering, I AM NOT HAYLEY WILLIAMS.

If you know me, you should know that I dye my hair alot. And when I say alot, I mean ALOT. My hair is fluoro red (with the occasional customisation, like orange undersides and black streaks. And my latest idea, black underside.) which apparently means that I want to be Hayley Williams from Paramore. Just to clarify, NO I DID NOT DYE MY FREAKIN' HAIR FREAKIN RED BECAUSE I LIKE PARAMORE. I just like red!!!! Everyone I know (literally, EVERYONE) has said I look like her at least once. Which is'nt all that true. We look pretty diferent. I JUST HAVE THE SAME COLOUR HAIR. And anyway, she has orange hair now, so therefore, no one can call me Hayley. Or Paramore. Or short white ranga. Well, I suppose you can call me short white ranga, but there is one name which fits best and that's MY ACTUAL NAME.

Yours (or not really, since you did not purchase me),
Kim.

Greetings and all that...

Now now, my little readers, before I launch into my teenage angst fuelled assault on various subjects, I must apologize. For I have become one of those annoying people we call the hypocrite. I go on and on and on about how no one updates their blogs etc. when I myself had a brief non-updater episode over September break. And for that, I sincerely apologize. Now, shall we begin? Yes?


I'M BACK BABY!! With a vengence!! A damn sexy vengence!!! Yes!! A VENGENCE!! Because I spent half of my holidays wrangling children of various ages!! AND ITS TOUGHENED ME THE F**K UP!! So... look out I suppose. Any who, what am I going to ramble about this fine (coughNOTcough) afternoon? The (too) Bold and the (mechanacally engineered) Beautiful.


Have you ever sat through an episode of that show? Now, I had a theory: that all daytime television shows had gayass storylines and terrible acting. And oh, how I was correct. For the purposes of my theory, I actually sat through an entire episode of B&B (writhing in pain for the full half hour, please note) to proove this. If this doesn't constitute bad acting and terrible screenwriting, I don't know what will: In the first three minutes, Ridge (come on, we all know him. Don't deny it!) was amidst several scandals (none of which I remember. You see, I watched this episode some time ago and since then, I cannot stand to even glimspe at their overly botoxed faces.). After another twenty-something minutes of "Oh Ridge!!! How could you?!!!" (oh maybe because you're a SLUT.), the ending was, if I can get this right, a young man with a very prominent jaw, a middle aged stick woman, a middle aged man with A-Cup moobs and his mother. After about thirty seconds more or less of mindless yabbering at each other, suddenly (not an exaggeration. Literally, I think it was in the middle of a line) the jaw guy and the mother launch into a full on pashfest, 60's Romeo and Juliet style.
"Oh mother, how could you?" yells Moob Man.
"We're in love!" says the mother
Jaw man has a menacing look on his face. Yes, you read correctly. MENACING.
"Fine then! Just to spite you." And so Moob man grabs stick woman and they have some R+J style fun of their own.
That's pretty much the entire episode, or all that I managed to catch with the minimal amount brain cells I had after I watched an entire episode of that SHIT!! Seriously!! I don't know how the hell it stays on air!! WHO IS WATCHING IT?!! Who ever is needs to be killed! THREE TIMES OVER. OR POSSIBLY MORE IF I HAVE ENOUGH BULLETS OR ENOUGH ENERGY IN MY MACHETE-ING ARM.

Anywho, little fans (pfft. I wish), thats enough passive-aggressive nonsense for one day

Peace out!! I can't believe I just said that..
Kim.

Since my life is supremely agonising at the moment and I have nothing else to do...

1) Name: Kim Davenport
2) Birthday: 20.03.94
3) Who forwarded this: It wasn't forwarded to me, I justsaw it on Natalies blog and decided to do it.
4) What do you wish to get on your birthday: I'm really craving a camcorder
5) Most tension matters nowadays: school, boys
6) Things that you wanna do: alot of things...
7) Any people you like: Of course!!! I like alot of people and I love alot of people
8) Out with who u feel the happiness and joy: friends!!!!
9) What would you do when your friends quarrel: Talk to them seperately... but my friends hardly ever fight :)
10) Where do you wanna go with others:er, places?
11) What do you wanna do for Christmas: Spend some time with my friends. I see my family members WAY to often.
12) Who do you wanna celebrate Christmas with: FRIENDS!!!
13) What did you do recently: Download some awesome tunes
14) How many siblings do you have: 1
15) Favorite english/chinese song: Oh geez, I love too too many bands and songs and singers... there are too many!!
16) Favorite colour: Orange. A few people will know that theres hidden meaning to that ;)
17) Do you flush the toilet after you use it: Of course I do!!! I hate it when people don't!!!!
18) Like male or female: well sexually, men of course. But in terms of friends, both.
19) What do you wanna say loudly: LAST WEEK OF TERM NEXT WEEK!!!!!
20) Dare to go to the toilet during midnight: Yes. all the time, my hall isnt so creepy. In fact, I don't find many halls creepy in general.
21) Who do you hate now: Hate? No one right now, i dislike a few people but would'nt go as far as hate.
22) What do you wish to do now: Oh, can't say.
23) Do you look good when you're sleeping: Can I see myself with my eyes closed? Yeah, think about how stupid the question is, THEN ask me again.
24) The time now: Exactly 4:44 pm
25) Don't you hate it when people forward this to you: Not really. I kinda like these things.
26) Body weight: Pretty average.
27) Today's weather: Sunny, but kinda chilly right now.
28) What do you want to do after a busy day at work: Sleep as soon as I come in contact with a mattress, any mattress.
29) What happens after insomnia: I don't sleep. Really, I can't lately. Lots of stuff on my mind.
30) Do you wet your bed at night: No. I'm fifteen :S
31) Do you drool at night: When I have a cold and have to sleep with my mouth open, yes!
32) Have you eaten supper before: Yeah, not in a long time though
33) Happy things happened recently: Not much.
34) Is freedom important to you: Damn straight it is!!
35) Who do you think is the most sexiest person among your friends: We're all pretty damn sxy if you ask me (which you are) ;)
36) Do you think you're stupid or smart: Smart, with my smarticles that I caught from Natalie
37) Do you like your dad or mum: Mum.
38) Who do you wanna see the most right now: I'd say, but that would give me away. Severely give me away.
39) Do you like to watch drama: Yes baby, I live for it ;)
40) Are you brave enough to tell someone you hate them: If I hated them enough, yes.
41)When do you intend to get married: When I find the right person, which wil take a while.
42)Do you like your life: Not at the moment, but I suppose it's okay.
43)Do you believe Tarot reading:No. Its cardboard. Cardboard cannot tell me whats going to happen. I personally believe you're in charge of what happens to you.
44)Something you do before you go to bed: Listen to my iPod.
45)Your idol: I don't have one, but I do admire alot of people
46)Favorite season: WINTER!!! I love the cold :)
47)Places that you wanna go: Canada is my ALL TIME favourite country ^^)
48)What kind of character do you hate the most: People who put other people down so they feel good.
49)Do you smoke: Yucky yuck yuck. Would YOU go up and lick the pavement? It's pretty much the same.
50)Do you drink: alcohol? nopes.
51)Do you cry often: All the time lately
52)Do you smile often: Yes, dispite the crying :)
53)What time do you wanna sleep: Once it hits eleven, I start to get tired and want to sleep, but can't. I never sleep.
54)Who would you rather choose between your friends or lover: both please ^^)
55)Would you rather choose chance or fate: Not sure
56)Are you very narcissistic: I don't think I am.
57)Do you have any piercing: Two in both my ears
58)Are there many questions: Hell yes.
59)Do you like to eat ice: When it's hot.
60)Are you happy now: a little depressed right now.
61)Who do you care for the most: Again, give me away. But I love my friends **hug**
62)What is the most important thing in your room: My iPod. It's like my inanimate best friend
63)If you had no friends, what would you do: Just fall over and die right there and then.
64)If an angel gave you a desire to achieve, what would you want: Sooooooo much.
65)Do you think this problem is a waste: Absolutely not.
67)Favorite fruit: I'm a big fan of the old fashoined apple
68)What question are you afraid of: I'm not afraid of questions, I'm afraid of giant crustations
69)Do you like the snow: Yes!!! But I haven't seen it in real life :(
70)What do you want to be on your next life: I don't believe in the next life, but for quiz purposes, a cat. They have such an easy life.
71)Do you hope you get tagged again: Like i said, i didn't get tagged. I was being a sad person just wanting to do this tag.
72)Do you like waiting for people if you are free: Yeah, I don't mind, I do it alot.

More popping-joint fun than I could handle.

Have any of you, oh faithful readers, tryed to compete in a sport? Well, my friends, if you have not and are intending to, here's one option you can cross off your list. Figure skating was my sport of choice quite the few years back and, believe you me, it was like hell frozen over. Figure skating tells you 'no'. All day long. It mocks you over and over, telling you you're an idiot. That you're crazy. If you like sliding around on an ice-cold-enough-to-burn-your-face-off surface doing next to physically impossible tricks, figure skating's for you. If you like peeling peices of skin the size of fifty cent coins off your feet, breaking in new boots is for you. Because the only thing more fun than bunyons and sore ankles is jupiter sized blisters. It's super sexy. And competitions? I mean, come on! Who doesn't like parading around in an overly sequined dress four sizes too small and getting atomic wedgies only to get your ego completely annihilated by a group of people who couldn't skate half as well as you can if their life depended on it and yet they still continue to think they're better than us. And if you like falling, figure skating is THE sport for you. You get to fall on your face, your ass, your back, your knees AND your pride! Good thing I didn't like falling... I LOVED IT!!!! The only reason we even considered doing these moronically hard tricks is because somebody somewhere said, "I don't care if this is nuts and I don't care if it hurts. I'm doing it." And ever since that day, human kind from all over the world think that its completely normal to be able to jump two metres in the air, spin three times, land it without popping a joint and not be dizzy afterwards. Oh, and if you think normal people are harsh, just you wait until you get into the competitive world. Man, are there any nice figure skaters on this planet or are they all just bitches? The latter, from my experience. What stopped me? No, I didn't realise how MAJORLY deluded all these icenuts were, I had an unfortunate mishap when trying to land one of these crazy tricks and I ended up not popping a joint, but smashing one. I didn't exactly smash my knee, per say, just did someting to it which now renders me unable to run, jump or skip faster or higher than a one-legged, extremely unathletic pirate. It makes me so mad!!! DAMN YOU, YOU CRAZY TWIGS!!! DAMN YOU FOR RUINING MY KNEE!!! WHAT IF I WANTED TO RUN FASTER THAN A PIRATE, HMM?!!! BEING PIRATE-LIKE IS NOT AS FUN AS IT SOUNDS!!!!!

Yours rantily,
Kim.

P.S. Not literally, but: does anyone want to join me in killing my accounting teacher? The massacre of one? Any takers?

I'M BACK BABY... more or less.

I think my inadvertant obsession with the 90's is starting to get out of hand. Just minutes ago, I finished watching the entire first season of Dawson's Creek. And, yes, I did that in one sitting. Two of my favourite bands right now are The Smashing Pumpkins and Garbage. Garbage, really? Am I really THAT sad? Answer: yes. Yes I am. But, there is one thing about the 90's that I have a passionate hatred for: THE FASHION (lurches). I mean seriously. I sit down and really do enjoy the drama and events of shows like Dawson's Creek and My So-Called Life, but the clothes they wear really put me off. Except the Dr Martens. Those boots are truely classic and just plain awesome. Still, the most annoying peice of clothing that they wear are these plaid print shorts with stockings underneath. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of the whole stockings under shorts look, but these shorts.... THEY LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THE SHORTS I WEAR TO BED AND WOULD NOT BE CAUGHT DEAD WEARING IN PUBLIC. It's truely disturbing seeing Claire Danes wearing the exact same shorts that I'm wearing with my giant Aladdin t-shirt while eating ice cream on an always depressing Sunday afternoon. But anyways, time clear up my post absenteeism...

For the past week, I have had the flu and so you should think I would have oodles of time to update my blog etc etc, but no, I did none of that. I sat at home and created a weird routine which composed of (in particular order): wake up, facebook, daytime t.v., facebook, Dawson's Creek, facebook, icecream, facebook, Dawson's Creek, Dawson's Creek, Dawson's Creek, facebook, sleep. And that's pretty much what I did for the past week besides a bit of the Sims here and there. Now, I know because I haven't entertained you in weeks, my oh valiant readers, you would expect me to come back with bang. Sorry, but, as previously stated, school is ruining my life with homework, which I now have piles and piles that I must attend to. So, fair readers of the Kim In Real Life realm, I bit you adeiu. I will now proceed to do my homewreckingwork and sing "Tiny dancer" by Elton John.

"Hold me closer tiny dancer..."

Kim.

WARNING: Overuse of exclaimation points.

Today was a MAJOR ego boost, surprisingly enough. Yes, you heard me correctly, I HAD A NEXT TO OKAY DAY!

Well, this morning wasn't so hot, I forgot to bring nearly ALL my books except my gay "special paper" for accounting. Erk, anytime I think of accounting, all I can think of is the freakin' ruler dance (PLEASE don't make me go into that...). "Special paper" is RIDICULOUSLY overpriced!! Five bucks for paper!!! It's obscene!! OBSCENE, I TELL YOU!! Okay, I'll get back onto the good stuff before I go into pessimist-mode.
So, in English, my teacher started the class with one of her many "motivational" past-experience speeches and then proceeded to complain about how she didn't have enough time to get to all of us to help us. As a result of this, she decided to elect about four "peer tutors" and I was one of them. This may not seem so great, but I thought that the teacher didn't like me or my writing, but obviously, I WAS WRONG!! So, finally I AM ACKNOWLEDGED!! But thats they only positive thing about this situation... I helped a few people whose work was really quite good, but then for the last 20 minutes, I was helping this girl who was so so so so hopeless. I'm sorry, but thats the only way to describe the experience. Ah, it was MIND-NUMBING. Oh yes, and Fletcher, YOU TRY TEACHING AN ILLITERATE HOW TO SPELL AND THEN YOU CAN MAKE STUPIDASS COMMENTS ABOUT MY TEACHING TECNIQUES!! Anywho, back onto the positive(ish)...
It was really strange today, I personally thought I looked weird with my hair pushed back, but quite a few people thought otherwise. Natalie complimented on my hair, Casey told me that I was "looking cute" and some random person sitting by the bus stop I pass on the way home just randomly yelled after me, "You're really pretty." Did I look any different today than I do usually?! I didn't think so by the slightest, so what the freakin' heck was everyone else seeing?!! I guess I'll never know...
Off the subject of todays happenings, yesterday (oo, yeah, REAL huge jump.) in Art, we were trying to compile our pictures for our lino printing. Natalie was looking a Salavador Dali book and was thinking about taking one of his pictures and sticking different American polititians heads on different bits of it and this included Barack Obama. I had a look when she showed me and read the first line of the description; "This was one of Dali's last works on the subject of masturabation." and I chuckled. Natalie read the sentence aloud and her reaction was: "Whats masturbation?" To quote Christina here, it was "like telling a child where babies come from." When we told her, she burst out laughing for a good ten minutes. We all strated cracking up when it dawned on us that she was going to feature Obama in the picture. I'm sure you can draw your own conclusions about what happened next. 'Nuff said...

Delirioulsy yours,
Kim.
P.S. I still hate boys.